Listen, to the song here in my heart…

18 Jul 2011 Leave a Comment

Oops, it’s been a while again since I last blogged! But it’s not quite embarassing yet, so we’ll just pretend nothing’s wrong, agreed?

After my big “I SHALL WRITE” announcement when I started The Golden Lasso back up, you’re probably thinking: umm, yeah, mission not quite accomplished yet, dollface. But what you see here is actually just the tippy-top of the iceberg. In fact, most of the stuff that actually gets published one way or the other (my column, my reviews, this blog) is just a portion of my overall writing output. I had significantly slacked off in the last months, but ever since I made my announcement, I’ve actually somewhat made good on my promise.

But here’s the thing: most things I write aren’t fit to be read. Either because I don’t deem them good enough or because they are way too personal. Another criterion would be “too sappy and ridiculous”. I write the occasional short story or poem but those are entirely therapeutic and if anyone ever saw that material, I’d probably have to kill them and then go die of shame in a corner. These texts might actually not be that bad style-wise (guess we’ll never know) but the content is just too… too. All I’ll reveal is that they contain the occasional heroic saving of one beautiful person/entity by another and, well, that ought to be enough to put you off wanting to know more.

My point is: I do write again. In fact, I’m surprised that I do. It’s nowhere near the level that I want and need to reach, but I’m doing a pitbull. I’m clamping down, not letting go and hoping I will reach my goal before this nasty thing called life shakes me off.

I do still need to get a better routine during the day. I so desperately want to! I’m not sure why this is so hard for me at the moment, but it is. It seems like it’s all I can do just to keep trying, every day anew.

In other news, I got my ears pierced and am on a new medication!

A week before my 26th birthday on July 5th – oh yeah, there was that too *sigh* – I decided to bite the bullet and finally get ‘em done. After Jess had said it was a minor procedure (I didn’t believe anyone until after I walked out of the piercing studio and had to admit, yes, it really is minor) and that it’d look good on me, I decided to take the plunge. I was out for lunch with my out-of-this-world-amazing-best-friend-I’ve-ever-had Jenny and told her I was seriously considering doing it and that I’d researched some places. She was instantly enthusiastic and said Jess was right, it would look so good on me! I said I would only do it if she came with me and held my hand the entire time. To which she only replied: “As long as I don’t have to get them pierced, anything darling.” And we were off! The guy at the piercing studio looked at me as if I were an alien when I told him what I was there for and that I had no other piercings or tattoos and that this was the first thing I ever got done. The girl who ended up piercing my ears was a sweetheart and looked like a Suicide Girl. Upon inspecting and prepping my earlobes, she said “You have perfect lobes for stretching, wouldn’t you rather do that?” (She herself had a stretched ear) Hell no! Not only do I not want to do anything that’s irreversible, I also don’t find it aesthetic. Yes, some people can pull it off, but I don’t ever think it actually looks good on someone. I then uttered the phrase “You know, this is my first time. Like a virgin.” I didn’t even say it in a particularly flirtatious way, it was more of a humorous remark to calm my growing nerves. She immediately jumped on board though. “Hehe”, she said with an evil chuckle, “I’ll be deflowering you then.” I grinned through the nerves: “Yes. Please be gentle.” Another evil giggle. “I will, don’t worry…” After we were done, she asked me if it had been good for me too. Finally someone who isn’t stuck up in this town! I could’ve smooched her right there.

And that’s how I got my ears pierced. My starter studs will be in there for at least two more weeks, so I haven’t bought any “real” earrings yet. I wanna wait a while longer with that. But I know exactly what kind I want: dangly and warrior-woman metal ethnic like. No coy pearls for me.

Speaking of warrior-woman. I so am one. Well, in my own mind at least. Why? Because me, the needle-phobic pussy, have mastered five consecutive days of taking my new medication. Which has to be injected. I am not happy about this type of administration, but it can’t be helped. And so, heroically, I’m doing it. Every day around 9pm, I stick myself in the thigh and inject 0.6mg of a clear liquid. This new medication is supposed to help me with the weight-loss I’m trying to get going. So far, it’s working okay, but no numbers are in yet, so I can’t really mention any concrete results. We’ll see what happens. It’s damn expensive, but I hope it will be worth it. I see it as an investment in my future. Thanks to this medication, which comes in a pen (you know, like an insulin pen for diabetics), I am now up to three pouches I carry in my handbag. One is my standard makeup bag, the other is now reserved for meds only, the third is my little weekly case of meds. I used to always carry a small amount of various meds with me in my makeup bag (not my regular stuff, but things like paracetamol, ibuprofen, charcoal, ginger powder, immodium in case of emergency) but now with the pen, which has an entourage of needle tips and disinfectant, there isn’t any more space. So I decided to relocate all those meds into their own pouch. Well, it’s actually an old MAC makeup bag, which is smaller than my regular one.

So there’s that.

Otherwise, I’ve been listening to a lot of new music. I’m not really hip to what’s in these days, since I don’t have a telly with MTV or Viva on it and only very, very marginally see stuff pop up on YouTube that interests me. Most of the music I discover these days comes from films and TV series. Usually, I’ll hear a song that I like and then look it up and if it can be found to download, I do that. Since music is love and I want to share the love, I thought I’d mention a few of the songs I can’t stop listening to at the moment. Let’s have a peek into my “July Sugar Mix” (I know I’m weird, I give my playlists strange names and always make a new one each month in addition to the regular ones.)

Everything is Ending by Chameleon Circuit

Chameleon Circuit is a band consisting of various YouTube musicians from London. They make songs about plotlines and scenes from the British series Doctor Who. I’ve never understood the appeal of Doctor Who. I’ve never made it through an entire episode and I don’t get why it’s almost a religion for certain people. All I see is a series with no production value. I mean, have you seen how cheap and tacky everything on this show looks? It’s the 21st century and their stuff looks like… if Star Trek: The Original Series and the Teletubbies had had a child. In the 70s. BUT… Chameleon Circuit’s Everything is Ending is a beautiful, beautiful song. You don’t necessarily need to know what the inspiration for the song was, it stands very well on its own too. I think Bryarly’s voice is much too high (and she seems to have very little range) but I love Alex’ singing and the melody and lyrics are just stunning.

Here it is:

Love You Like a Love Song by Selena Gomez & The Scene

Ok, don’t shoot me right away. I initially stumbled upon the video to this song because I saw a still of it and was intrigued by the makeup Selena was wearing. And then it turned out to be a really, really catchy song! Up until then, all I knew was that there was a girl called Selena Gomez who existed and is dating Justin Bieber (I skim gossip blog headlines, so sue me). I didn’t even know she made music. Turns out, this is kind of a nice song! And she has suuuuuch a pretty face, it slays me. I don’t like her twig-like body, she really is way too thin (her legs have the circumference of my wrists by the look of it) but she does have a stunning face. I downloaded the album this song is a part of and have to admit, the rest of the album is not to my liking at all. But this song is!

For those too lazy to seek it out themselves, have a listen right here:

Americano by Lady Gaga

I love the Born This Way album. And this song is the best one on it, if you ask me. Leave it to Lady Gaga to make a song about illegal immigration AND gay rights. To a mariachi rhythm. It’s hard to describe how great this song is and I recommend reading the lyrics along when you listen the first time. It’s just a fierce battle hymn. It’s original and unexpected and still sweetly tender at times. My favourite bit of it is right at the beginning: “I met a girl in East L.A. / In floral shorts, as sweet as May / She sang in eights in two Barrio chords / We fell in love but not in court” Wonderful, wonderful track.

Short Change Hero by The Heavy

This is one of those that comes from an episode of Supernatural (I think) that I recently saw. I love the chorus especially. It’s not a very elaborate song, but it strikes a chord with me. Maybe because it’s about helping someone selflessly, without being a hero, just doing it.

Letters from the Sky by Civil Twilight

This plays in the last scene of the movie I Am Number Four. It’s a beautiful love song about pain and two people being destined to be together. It’s one of those rare songs that make you believe that there truly could be someone out there for you, someone to save you and for you to save. And that it’s ok to be saved and save right back. The lyrics also remind me of the scene in Conan the Barbarian where Valeria comes back from the dead to protect Conan one last time and she’s glistening in the sun. I am in love with this song right now. In no small part, this is also due to the fact that I Am Number Four, while not being an extraordinarly original movie, somehow triggered me to write more personal material at the moment. Just a few images and this song touched something deep within me and before I knew it, I was typing away at a story. So, that’s pretty amazing.

That’s it for now folks!

Live long and prosper, peace,

Anna