Let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love!

One year and three months since Steve broke up with me. One year and one month since I moved to Zurich. One week and two days since the universe put someone new across my path. That’s right, yours truly has a date tomorrow! And no, I can’t shut up about it.

I’ve got a good feeling with this guy (name will be disclosed shortly and with permission). Not a “I think we might make out” good feeling. A “I think this might lead somewhere serious if I don’t muck it up” good feeling.
I really can’t say very much more, because the date tomorrow will pretty much decide how, if at all, things go on. But I can say this much: I’ve got butterflies the sizes of Boeing 727s in my belly and I’m already showing extreme signs of beaming-without-cease.

Over and out, let’s go get the shit kicked out of us by love.

Anna

Some parts of my character weren’t what you’d call… presidential.

Because they’re a guilty pleasure of mine and I need something to take my mind off the nervousness of seeing a certain fella again tonight: another meme! Basically, it’s a questionnaire with questions taken from all those obnoxious “getting to know you and your friends” emails. I’ve taken only the questions I thought were fun. So if you don’t already feel overinformed by my puny life, read on. I tried to stick to questions I hadn’t already answered in one form or another on this blog. Oh, and just for kicks, I added some of the Actor’s Studio questionnaire questions (which are based on a Marcel Proust questionnaire apparently).

1. What book are you reading?

I’m unable to only read one book at a time. So: for work, I’m reading “The Shadow of the Wind”, which really doesn’t grip me. For myself, I’m reading “The Nightwatch” and I love it. Also: “The Life and Art of Alfred Hitchcock” which is fascinating. And I’m finishing up “Orlando”, which so far is my favourite Virginia Woolf book.

2. What’s your favourite board game?

Trivial Pursuit, closely followed by Pictionary. I’m so proud I can finally play the adult’s version without making a complete fool out of myself.

3. Favourite magazine?

I don’t read a lot of magazines but I think I’d have to go with Neon.

4. Favourite sound?

The THX jingle. I’m such a freak. And so proud of it.

5. Least favourite sound?

Nails on a blackboard and the over-enhanced crawling sounds they have for monstrous spiders in movies.

6. What turns you on?

Honesty, confidence, men with big hands.

7. What turns you off?

Selfishness.

8. Worst feeling in the world?

Physically: menstrual cramps. Otherwise: being told “I don’t love you”.

9. Best feeling in the world?

Physically: a kiss. Otherwise: being called “my girl”.

10. First thing you think when waking up?

“I’m so blessed to be living this life I’ve always dreamt of.”

11. What’s your future child’s name?

Girl: Mara – Boy: Paul

12. What’s your favourite colour?

Wine red and turquoise.

13. Favourite food?

Sushi. Always and forever.

14. Favourite word?

Bumblebee and hedgehog. It doesn’t get better than that. And no, I can’t pick one over the other.

15. Least favourite word?

Fat.

16. What is most important in your life?

Being able to love, living with a feeling of satisfaction, being surrounded by good friends and being one too. Babette.

17. If you could play an instrument, which would it be?

Drums.

18. Do you like to drive fast?

I’m a very, very responsible driver. Annoyingly so most of the time. I only like to drive fast on the Autobahn, when there’s almost no traffic. And sometimes, really late at night…Sometimes when I’m driving… on the road at night… I see two headlights coming toward me. Fast. I have this sudden impulse to turn the wheel quickly, head-on into the oncoming car. I can anticipate the explosion. The sound of shattering glass. The…flames rising out of the flowing gasoline.
Hehe, did I scare you? Who can tell me which movie that is from? I challenge you!

19. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal?

Several, actually. But only if I don’t have an actual person to sleep with.

20. Storms: cool or scary?

Definitely cool. Even when you’re caught in one. Cool.

21. What type was your first car?

I’m still a long way away from my first car.

22. Person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to?

My childhood friend Josef. Though I don’t wish so much to go back to talk to him, as talking to him now. Oh, him and Tony Sloman. It’s been way too long.

23. What’s your favourite alcoholic drink?

Baileys. On the rocks. Or that strawberry alcopoppy thing they serve at “Movie”.

24. If you could have any job, what would you want it to be?

Anna Wintour’s job. Or Roger Ebert’s. A combination of both would actually be ideal.

25. Have you ever been in love?

Yes, twice.

26. Favourite movie?

The one question I will never be able to answer.

27. What’s under your bed?

Dust, some tissues (ewww), a pencil and a pack of paracetamol.

28. What’s your favourite number?

42.

29. What is your favourite sport to watch?

Figure-skating.

30. Build a house anywhere. Where is it?

In the desert, miles from civilization but with a huge pool please. “How will you eat?” “Well, I guess mom could come over twice a day and cook”. There’s a little Calvin and Hobbes humour for ya.

31. What’s your favourite article of clothing?

The three gorgeous wraparounds I bought yesterday. Seriously, my sartorial wishes are now all fulfilled. For ever. Or something like that.

32. Beach, mountains, city?

A city on a beach. I can do without mountains. Says the girl who moved to Switzerland.

33. If you had to name a person you now know to marry, who would it be?

Pascal. I’m not saying which one.

34. Comedy or horror?

Shaun of the Dead.

35. Favourite physical feature of the opposite sex?

Hands. Big. Strong. Hands.

36. What’s on your favourite pizza?

Curry-chicken, mozzarella, onions, broccoli, camembert.

37. Favourite time of the day?

11pm.

38. What was the last CD you bought?

Drastic Fantastic by the amazing KT Tunstall. Yes, I still buy my music.

39. What’s your favourite place to be massaged?

My lower spine. Mmmmmmmhhhhh.

40. What’s your favourite kitchen item?

Definitely my rice cooker. I’d make love to it if it were physically possible.

41. What makes you really angry?

Intolerance, selfishness, laissez-faire.

42. What makes you really happy?

Kisses on the nape of my neck, learning foreign languages, having a good interview, generosity and gentlemanly behaviour.

43. Which do you prefer, a sports car or a 4×4?

A 4×4. It’s unpretentious and still a hell of a ride. Freedom on wheels.

44. What’s your favourite season?

Autumn.

45. Do you believe in the afterlife?

I’d love to, but I can’t really bring myself to it. I’d love to be able to believe in all that, to feel that if I do something good I will be rewarded in the afterlife as well. But I’ve dealt with too much religion and afterlife stuff in my time to consider it from any point of view but the scientific one. So no, I try to make my life here as good, thrilling and meaningful as possible.

46. If you could have one superpower, which would it be?

Telekinesis. I would LOVE to be telekinetic. Please let me telekinetic. I’ll sell you my soul.

47. What is your favourite cartoon?

Sailor Moon. Yes, I said it.

Well, that’s all for now folks!

Anna

Everybody loved Elvis, but nobody wanted to know what he was thinking.

I just wrote half a post about how Steve has been hauting me these past few days. Then I deleted it. I can’t finish songs or poems at the moment and it’s his fault. At least I know that much. I don’t get why it still hurts even though I’m finally moving on, looking at other men (ok, and one blonde cutie at work).
Fuck.

Sorry I’m not more inspired at the moment. I’ll go watch “The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” now. In the next post, I’ll write something about the dates I’ll have had by then. Cheers. Fuck you Steve.

Anna

My momma always said, "Life was like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get."

That might be true for Mr Gump, but I sure know what I’m gonna get. Four days ago I renewed my “halbtax abo”, which is a sort of Bahncard (but cooler) for Switzerland. I didn’t renew it for a year. I renewed it for two. On the one hand I save 50 Francs by doing so. On the other, it means I’m here to stay. It means no chickening out. It means arriving here. I would never have thought that a blue plastic card would one day bind me to my, beautiful, life here.
So far I had not arrived. I had done a lot, achieved a lot, laughed a lot, cried a lot and lost a lot of money and doubts and fears. But I had not truly arrived and I can see that now. It took me 4 moves until I found the flat I’m in now and that was just way too much. I still look at my furniture sometimes and think “oh god, this is gonna be hell to move next time”. Somehow it didn’t get into my head that I was not supposed to move any time soon. This flat is pretty, but it felt like a hotel room of sorts. I couldn’t get used to the feeling of it being mine to live in for, as far as anyone’s concerned, an indefinite number of years.
A restless part of me keeps thinking (and saying to people) “I’m here for about another 3 years, and then who knows?”. Another part of me knows that should I wish it, I could really live here in Switzerland. The problem is, I don’t know if I wish it. I want to travel and see the world and live and work in exciting places. But I don’t want to become a restless wanderer. I would like to find a place to call home and I wouldn’t mind if it were soon-ish.
Since I got my halbtax renewed however, things feel like they shifted. From “I can still take off” to “nah, there’s no way I’m going away”. The taking-off time window has closed. What I can’t pinpoint is whether this makes me feel safe or restrained.

I know my being here is a wonderful thing. I know it’s good for me and I couldn’t have chosen it better. What am I doubtful about it then? I don’t want to leave and yet the fact I’ve got my train tickets secured for 2 years makes me queasy. Why is this number so daunting? Why is the word “years” so daunting? I’ve nothing to fear and I’ve a good thing going on here. I do not intend to throw any of that away. But somewhere, birds fly over the rainbow and why oh fucking why can’t I anymore? Isn’t that supposed to be good?

Isn’t settling for 2 years supposed to make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside?

Anna

current music: Estoy Aquí by Shakira